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Tim "Boss man" King- Baritone '14

Somewhere in New England

Tim is our music director and what most would call a "straight shooter". You'll either find him in the corner DJing or showing off his white guy dance moves

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Liam "why have a six pack when you could tap a keg" Cusack - Bass '14

Fort Myers, Florida

By far the most attractive and talented Son (and the only one with the password for the website), Liam spends his days carrying the group. Often the only bass, he is the rock upon which SOP stands

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Swami "Swambo AKA Swam-bomb AKA Swamalongadingdong" Raman- Tenor '15

New Jersey

After discovering his inspiration in "Let's go to the Mall" by Robin Sparkles, Swami embarked on a musical journey that would lead him to a life of fame, fortune, and an inexplicable affinity for pineapple juice

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Aazam "Theatre Kid" Sultan- Tenor '15

Hotlanta Georgia

He is best known for coining the phrase "swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty".

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Albert "Secret Admirer" Xing - Baritone '15

Somewhere important

As a new addition to the Sons, Albert is still in the butt-sniffing, growling, and chest puffing phase of joining the pack.

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David Strum- Tenor '17

South Carolina

Widely known for his controversial views regarding the "War of Northern Aggression" and distrust of technology David elected not to submit his own bio for "them new fangled compooter thangs"

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Jack "no comment" Linnehan '17

[Redacted]

Jack [middle name redacted] Linnehan was born on [date redacted] and has been alive since then. If you knew any more, he would have to kill you

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Ian Engel '17

Outer Space

If you have to ask, you just don't get it...

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Brian "Crabs" Caldwell - Baritone '08

NYC

Despite his unfortunate nickname, Brian does not at this time, to the knowledge of the SOP webmaster, have crabs.

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Ellis "The South Will Rise Again (GET IT?)" Izlar-Baritone '11

Savannah, Georgia

Ellis Izlar emerged from the womb clad in a three-piece seersucker suit, clutching a mint julep, and sporting a delightful bowtie/stringtie combination. As he grew, the seersucker grew with him, and his position on his family's plantation, Lara, grew as well. Since the tobacco fields had long since gone fallow, the Izlar clan decided to begin farming rubber trees and marketing to Firestone. Unfortunately, the so-called "Izlar Blend" of rubber was notoriously defective and responsible for a large number of blowouts and SUV rollovers. Since then Ellis has taken his family's rubber blend with him and marketed it to Durex brand condoms as the first "no slip, treaded condom (patent pending)." Sales in the US have been slow, but the product is KILLING in Manitoba...go figure.

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Will "Choke a Bitch" Kamovitch- Bass '10

Elk Rapids, Michigan

Will was raised in the traditional Latvian style - hookers, chocolate mousse, and having wine poured in his eyes at age 3 to "put on the toughen in [non-translatable]". Once he came to America, his eyes opened to the world outside of Eastern Europe, and he started hunting the elderly for sport. Does that make him a bad person? NO! THEY'RE OVERPOPULATING AND CROWDING UP OUR CITIES! Or at least that's what Will told us while brandishing his elephant gun, so we're gonna stick with that as SOP's official stance - at least until he needs to reload.

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Mike "Mike "My Name is Alliterative" Mentzel" Mentzel - Tenor 1 '10

Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania

Mike is a great big hairy American singing machine. He wakes up in the morning and pisses slightly above average standardized test scores. Also, much like a starfish, Mike is capable of asexual reproduction. You'd never know it though, until you accidentally severed his head and you ended up with two Mentzels. In all seriousness - as much as we needed another tenor, we just smothered the clone. It was getting fucking creepy.

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Sean "I AM a fucking Eskimo" Offer- Tenor '10

DIZZZZZZNEY!!!!!, Florida

The Inuit people resent being called Eskimo, because it implies “seal-eater.” Sean “I AM a Fucking Eskimo” Offer, on the other hand, revels in it. Known to ride his rampaging Walrus, Vralworth the Toothy (a level 60 mount), onto a beach full of baby seals sunning themselves, Offer slays the helpless creatures at will, maniacally grinning at the carnage. Of course – Offer isn’t cruel – he balks at the idea of killing infant seals to sell their skins to the fashion industry – he does it for fun.

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Chris "Tonight's GOTTA be the night" Russo- Tenor '10

Old Brookville, New York

A competitive eater who's trained with the likes of Kobayashi and the so-called "eater-x," Chris Russo is an animal when it comes to eating. Not only that, but because he owns his own self-storage business, he both literally and figuratively puts it away. Also known to play jai-alai obsessively, Russo has been known to fling the pelota at upwards of 170 miles an hour. In recent years, Russo has taken an interest in wedding planning, and as can be seen in his photo, is a bride's best friend. Chris is also known to take meticulous care of his clients "special days" and hence where his nickname comes from. Nowhere else.

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Phil "I Don't Have This Much Hair Anymore " Sherman - Tenor '0X

Greenwich, CT*

Phil, a founding member of SOP, is very pleased to be performing with Sons of Pitch, although he will never love us as much as he loves his high school a cappella group.

When he’s not singing, Phil loves to run. In fact during the late 70s he once ran all the way across the United States, attracting a sizable following and inadvertently inventing the smiley face t-shirt and the oft-used phrase, “shit happens.”

Phil is currently working on his Ph.D in Swedish language and literature at GW.

Prior to joining Sons of Pitch, he served under the recently ousted Swedish Dictator, Sven Bjorksen, as Minister of Culture.

Phil would like to give a shout out to his mama and would like to remind the world that no one appreciates his artistic vision. Bjergen!

*But now resides in Stuart, Florida and Östersund, Sweden

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Alex "Thank you, come again" Thomas - Tenor '11

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Contrary to popular belief, not every Eastern Indian owns a 7/11 (I know, weird right?). Regardless, Alex's nickname is derived not from Apu's iconic phrase, but rather the words he utters every time he finishes an intense scene in the sex industry. Also known by his stage name "Lex the impaler" Alex has become vivid video's number one male star of all-time. His trademark position, the "Bhagavad Get-her" requires four women, himself, a goat and a six-armed deity with purple skin. In addition, Alex's role as Sunjay the Cobbler in the Bollywood Epic "Bye-Bye Bangalore" netted him a best-actor award at the 65th annual Nataraj awards, nicknamed the "Gandhi's." Since then, Alex has settled down; he accepted a place in Sons of Pitch, and while he still yearns for his years of ululating wildly on the celluloid, he realizes that gone are the days of musical reverie. They've been replaced with a world of fluffers and K-Y jelly. We're sorry buddy.

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Ben Alfred
Matt Beck
Erik Bergmann
Salvatore Colleluori
Dominick DeGaetano
Rob Dettore
Adam Farrar
Dan Greenblatt
Alex Hecht
Matt Ireton
Ellis Izlar
Will Kamovitch
Mike Mentzel
Sean Offer
Chris Russo
Phil Sherman
Alex Thomas