Hans Jacob Christoffel von Grimmelshausen

The Derivation of the Name "Bearskin"

Those who have attempted to trace per etymologiam the name "Bearskin," which the Germans employ as a term of abuse, have supposed that in the old days, when the ancient Germans slept on all sorts of skins, the name was used to jeer at those who would remain lying slothfully upon their bearskins, never showing any desire to do brave deeds. Perhaps - it happened too long ago to recall exactly - I could shed light upon the subject. In any case, a very ancient portrait was discovered at Castle Hohenrot together with the following account of how the name originated.

In the year 1396, when the Turkish Emperor Celapino defeated Sigismund, who was king of Hungary in those days, a German mercenary fled from the battle into a forest and lost his way. Furthermore, since he didn't know of any master, any war, any money, or even any trade or other means by which he might earn his living, he had many gloomy thoughts. Suddenly he was taken unawares by the apparition of a horrible ghost or spirit ‹whether or not it was the evil one himself, I cannot tell‹who told the soldier that if he would enter his service, he would give him plenty of money and even make a gentleman out of him at the end.

"Oh yes!" answered the soldier. "But only on the condition that serving you won't endanger my salvation."

"Well, but first I'll have to see what you can do," said the spirit, "and test your mettle so that I won't throw my money away." As he was saying this, a huge, enormous bear came loping along. "Shoot him in the head," said the spirit.

The soldier, who wasn't clumsy, hit the bear squarely on the nose so that it rolled over and over.

When he had done this, the ghost or spirit began to bargain and said, "If you want to serve me, you must promise to serve me for seven years and for this period to stand one hour of guard duty every night at midnight; item, not to comb your hair and your beard nor to cut the aforesaid or your nails; item, not to blow your nose nor to wash your hands or your face nor to wipe your bottom; item, to wear this bearskin instead of your coat and to sleep on it instead of on a bed; and never to say the Lord's Prayer. In return, I'll provide you with rations, beer, tobacco, and brandy, and you'll lack for nothing. And when the seven years are over, I'll make such a fellow out of you that you'll be amazed at yourself."

The soldier agreed to everything and said to the spirit, "All those things you've forbidden me, it's always gone against my nature to do. I don't like to wash, I don't like to pray, etc."

When they had reached an agreement, the spirit asked the soldier his name in order to enter it in the record book that he carried with him. But when the soldier pronounced the name of one of the saints, the spirit said, "That one won't do. You'll be called Bearskin because of the bearskin that has been presented to you today."

Then he skinned the bear and made a coat out of the hide for his new servant. And he transported him, along with the hide and all the rest of his baggage, through the clouds to his country place, a dismal castle that is said to owe its name to this marvelous journey.

There the soldier served out his seven years, and during this time his skin, hair, beard, and nails became so horribly filthy that he looked more like the spirit himself than like a rational creature created in the glorious image of God, especially when he was wearing his lovely bearskin instead of a respectable coat. For his hair grew into elflocks that wound around his shoulders looking like the thick tails of Asiatic sheep. His beard was all matted together like a coarse felt hat with (no offense to the reader) snot, spittle, and other slime. His nails were shaped like eagles' talons, and his face was so covered with filthy scum that one could have planted turnip seed there, as the saying goes.

When the seven years were almost up, the spirit came of his own accord and pointed out to him that it was time to settle accounts and pay the wages he had coming. However, to start with he filled his pockets with ducats and doubloons and told him to have a good time, not to skimp, but to empty his pockets doing or not doing whatever his heart desired. But because the seven years of the contract were not completely up, he was under no circumstances to break the terms of their agreement or to give up his old habits.

The soldier obeyed. However, since no one wanted to take him in because he was such a gruesome and horrible sight, he became downhearted. When even an innkeeper, whose profession it is to give food and lodging to strangers for a price, turned him away, the soldier showed him a handful of ducats out of one pocket and a handful of doubloons out of the other, and right away he became a welcome guest. The innkeeper put him up in a separate room and also gave him special room service so that the other guests would not be revolted by his ugly appearance and so that the inn would not get a bad name.

In this room Bearskin stuffed himself at the expense of the spirit, until one day the spirit found out that a gentleman, one of the landed nobility, was making a journey and intended to take lodging at this very inn. At this, the spirit came to the room during the night and painted portraits of all the most famous people who have existed since the Creation, just the way they looked when they were alive, such as Cain, Lamech, Nimrod, Ninus, Zoroaster, Helen, the Greek and Trojan princes, Sosostris, Nebuchadnezzar, Cyrus, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Nero, Caligula, Muhammad, etc. He even painted the portraits of those still to come into the world, such as the anti-Christ and others. The innkeeper was no little amazed at this, especially when Bearskin passed off these pictures as his own work.

When the aforesaid gentleman took lodging there in the evening and asked the innkeeper, who was an acquaintance of his, for the news, the latter told him all that he knew and all that he didn't know about his strange guest, such as his singular appearance, his great skill as a painter, and the fact that he had plenty of money.

The gentleman replied, "I'll have to see this wonder of wonders tomorrow or I won't be able to believe what you've told me." When early the next morning he saw for himself that what he had heard was true, he agreed absolutely with the innkeeper's opinion that this man understood the art of painting better than anyone. Moreover, he marveled for more than one reason, both at the artist's skill and at the works themselves. They were perfect beyond compare, and noticing the similarity between these portraits and ancient works of art that he recalled seeing in other places, he believed that the rest must also look like the men they represented, whose portraits he had never seen before.

He asked Bearskin whether he had done the work. The latter replied with the question "Who else?"

The gentleman answered, "Then you must know a lot since you know how to draw the appearance of the men of the future."

"Yes, indeed!" answered Bearskin. "I know more than people give me credit for."

"Who are you?" asked the gentleman.

"I am Colonel Bearskin," replied the other, "a soldier of fortune, and I recently served in the Turkish wars."

Since this was still a new name and not yet a badge of shame, the gentleman didn't pursue the matter but said instead: "I have three daughters, all so much alike in beauty that even their mother often cannot tell them apart. I am going to show them to you. If you can tell me which is the oldest, which the middle one, and which the youngest, I'll give you whichever one you choose as a wife. If not, then you and all your possessions shall be forfeited to me."

Since Bearskin was satisfied with the proposal, the nobleman took him along home in order to show him his daughters. But the spirit appeared to Bearskin again and said, "You ought to know that on such an occasion this gentleman always puts the youngest in the middle, the oldest on the left, and the middle one on the right." Thus instructed, the soldier was able to tell which was the first, which the second, and which the third, and at the same time he asked to marry the youngest.

The gentleman swore on the spot that he would keep his word as was proper for an honest cavalier. Heaven knows what the mother might say or how the child might take it. Moreover, he wanted to celebrate the wedding right away, before there were any other complications, but Bearskin didn't want to, pleading other business as an excuse, but he promised to come back soon. He took apart a precious ring, made with special screws for this purpose, gave one part to his bride, and then went on his way.

The young bride wore black in mourning, and she wished in vain that she might remain single rather than marry the horrible Bearskin. But what was the use? That was the way her father was determined to have it.
Her sisters didn't envy her the match and teased her every day about her handsome bridegroom. Every hour and every day they made her sore heart bleed afresh; yet she bore it all patiently.

However, the spirit came back and took Bearskin to the Rhine, where he gave him a bath. He put his hair in order and cut it and also trimmed the horrid beard according to the latest fashion, and he beautified him to the point that he looked like the handsomest cavalier. "Now go to X," he said to him, "and make a figure in the world like a bona fide colonel, and live like a gentleman. I'll dig up my treasures that are buried around here and I'll give you money enough." Bearskin, who desired nothing more than this, was all the more eager to obey. He set himself up like a grand vizier with fine horses, splendid carriages, rich clothes, and many servants in livery.
When the time seemed ripe to the spirit, he appeared again and said, "Now go back and get married." And in order to make him appear even wealthier, he filled his carriages and trunks full of money, which he gave him both for a reward and for a marriage portion.

He set out on his journey and sent his herald ahead to give respectful greetings to his future father-in-law and to inform him that an honorable cavalier was en route to pay suit to him and to wait upon his wife and daughters‹in a word, to ask for the hand of one of his daughters if it might be permitted and would cause no inconvenience.

When he received the courteous answer that he would be most welcome, he made a splendid entry with his suite and was well received. Moreover, to give him all the more polite encouragement, he was put at the head of the table between the two older daughters, who had adorned themselves magnificently on his account because each hoped to get him for herself. The youngest, however, had to make do at the foot of the table, like a turtledove that has lost its mate, because she was engaged and could not hope to get this fine-looking gentleman. Her sisters gave her many a mocking look and cut her to the heart with many a sharp and scornful word.

After the parents had been shown an the gold and had given Bearskin their consent to choose between their daughters, and while each of the older ones was still desperately hoping to get him, he revealed himself to the youngest by means of his part of the ring, the other piece of which he had given to her before. She was overjoyed, and the other two were just as greatly dismayed to see themselves suddenly robbed of their hopes. They were so confounded that they no longer knew what they were doing, and their parents were so delighted at the luck of the one daughter that they paid no attention to the chagrin of the other two. The daughters were so overwhelmed with shame and with envy of their sister, that one hanged herself and the other jumped into a well.

"There," said the spirit, who seemed extremely cheerful to Bearskin, "now we're all square. You've got one, and I've got two of the daughters, whom their father has refused to give to many an honorable cavalier."

My very dear, most respected, and therefore most indulgent reader, for the time being you must rest content with this tale and make of it what you will. Eventually I hope to elucidate it with a commentary.