HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I'm Emily. I don't like using gym mats when there's still a butt imprint on them. I dont like using a computer mouse when it's still sticky from someone else's hand.

*photoshopping courtesy of Erin Shea.

You may recognize me from:
1. various Lifetime favorites, such as "My Stepson, My Lover". I played the stepson.
2. Jane Fonda's "Favorite Fat Burners", second to the left, yellow striped leotard.
3. Parmalat milk cartons, '89-'92, under the heading "missing".

"Emily's life began when she repelled down her mothers umbilical chord with nothing but a carabineer and a square knot to safeguard her from uncertain death. After chewing herself free, she was recruited by Soul Train where she formulated the now infamous dance: "Wobbly legs/baby's first dance". She enjoyed a brief period of fame before discovering how truly fickle the public could be. Hoping to escape the ire of islamic fundamentalists and animal rights activists alike, Emily sought political asylum in New Delhi. After contracting HIV from a dirty paintbrush at an unlicensed Henna tatoo parlor on the wrong side of town, she returned to the United States to face her demons and several counts of identity theft. She now writes lyrics for Jewel which she sends via carrier pigeon from her cell on Riker's Island."

Here's a movie I made with my Mitchell Hall freshman friends I will stay in contact with after this year (sarcasm) Watch it!